Kill Him

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A few days ago Youngest Daughter Fat Man’s old used car had a light come on that told us the battery was not being charged. It made it home to our driveway and promptly died. Today I went out in the ten degrees below freezing weather and got the car started. I let it run for a while and noticed no problems, so I took it to her work. After she got off work she started her drive home, got about halfway and the car died, again. So I went down and towed the car to our mechanics shop that was about two blocks away from where it broke down. Youngest Daughter FM was new to towing cars, so when we arrived at the shop, she did not know how to maneuver the car into a space in front. So being the great Dad that I am, I yelled at her, then got out of my car and yelled at her some more. She was crying pretty hard. It was not her fault, she was doing the best she could, her Dad was just mean. So we got the car parked, and we went home. When we got there I told her I was sorry for being such a jerk. She immediately forgave me like she has a hundred times before. She came and sat by me and hugged me, she leaned on my Fat Man belly and told me how comfortable it was to rest her head on, just like she did when she was a little kid. My wife and kids are so kind and forgiving, and they deserved better that they got in a husband and Dad. But they can’t have a different one, I’m what they got. But if I really believe they deserve better, I need to continue to try to be better. So I apologize, reflect on who I am, desire to be different, then try again to change. Sometimes it is so hard to be a decent human being, especially to the people I love the most. They are worth me trying though, so I will continue to go about the task of killing the man who has a way better family than he deserves. I am thankful that I am better than I was ten years ago, but broken down cars and other things like that come along every now and again to remind me that I have a long way to go…so here I go. I love you Sammy, and thanks for forgiving me…again!

B

4 Responses

  1. Diane Davis

    Your honesty, hope and willingness to be better show that you’re a good man. We’re all only human. Happy New Year and God Bless you and your family.

  2. Matt Moler

    I am right there with you brother. Thanks for being transparent and sharing. You have my respect. 🙂

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