Forgive and Forgive

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I hated Good Looking Arrogant Jock (Glaj) in high school! Fat Man used to be Fat Adolescent back in the 80’s, and Glaj took full advantage of my inferior position in life. He was never really overtly mean, just dismissive or belittling when I interacted with him. I carried that grudge for a good number of years, until one beautiful summer day I saw him at a concert in our hometown. He had a homely wife, where as Mrs. Fat Man is a real beauty, both inside and out. That gave me no small amount of pleasure I must say. But the thing that struck me more than anything was the fact that he did not even recognize me. I had been carrying that grudge for around 20 years, and he had likely never given me a thought in those 20 years. It was time to forgive old Glaj. So, I began the process of forgiveness; and it is a fairly long process. Every time I would think about Glaj, I had to consciously intervene in my thoughts and say to myself, “No Fat Man, you are not going to hold that against him anymore. Get over your fat self and move on.” The first year, that probably happened 30 times, the next year I was down to 15 times, and it happened less every year after that. Until finally, I only think about Glaj when I am telling this story. And I’m not mad anymore. I finally figured out how to reach that pious platitude that is “You must forgive”. So, it was a years long process to forgive some knot head with a homely wife who really had minimal impact on my existence. Bigger hurts require bigger forgiveness and bigger chunks of time. But it seems it was a good move, because I only got about 25 years left on this earth if the insurance actuaries are correct. And I don’t want to waste one minute of it on that kind of garbage anymore, I suggest others do the same.forgive

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